West Lafayette, IN - Purdue University sophomore Meg Gotshall has recently announced that she will not be living in the United States during the upcoming summer. Instead, she will be living and working abroad for three months.

West Lafayette, IN - To the dismay of many Windsor Hall Residents, freshman Emily Bowling and sophomore Meg Gotshall recently announced their intentions to enter the race for positions on the Duhme Hall Council for the upcoming school year. Bowling has stated that she will be running for hall president with Gotshall campaigning at her side for the position of vice president.

Bowling is currently serving as a Corridor Chair in Duhme and is currently enrolled in Freshman Engineering. Her running mate Gotshall is studying computer science and minoring in Japanese. Both are current residents of Duhme Hall, and Gotshall spent last year living in Meredith Hall.

Although Bowling has not publicly announced her campaign platform, private sources have offered their own speculations. Bowling's neighbors and friends have mentioned that they believe Bowling intends to arrange hall-wide worship sessions devoted to the pop artist Kid Rock, install new computers in the recreational lounge that will be used solely for AOL Instant Messenger, and petition the hall management to revoke the rule that forbids anyone from entering the hall's end doors after 9:30 pm.

Gotshall has not formally discussed her platform either, but in a recent interview, she stated that she is interested in causing as many headaches as possible for Kevin Kays, Windsor Halls' assistant manager. Gotshall's first order of business, which she plans to carry out before she is even elected, is to convince Kays that she plans to run for Windsor Governor, a position which requires extensive collaboration with Kays. "I can just imagine the look on his face," Lindsay Hendricks, a Duhme counselor said after initially proposing the idea.

West Lafayette, IN - Investigators are currently looking into a case involving five mysterious fish deaths in a Purdue University dorm room. On five separate occasions, bodies have turned up in a tank located in the Duhme Hall room coinhabited by sophomores Meg Gotshall and Sabrina Dunn.

In each case, the cause of death has been unclear. "At this point, nothing is definite," investigators said. "We have yet to rule out the possibility of homicide, but more likely these are cases of involuntary fishslaughter."

The saga began last semester, when Kyle Smith, Dunn's boyfriend, purchased four fish at the local Wal-Mart as a birthday gift for Gotshall. A day later, Gotshall discovered one of the fish dead in the tank. A few days later, a second was found. Unfortunately, the chain did not stop, and after a few more weeks, the last two had also been found dead. At this point, the investigation remained largely untouched, due to the incredibly long list of suspects.

Investigators formulated many hypotheses, and the suspect list came to include Smith, Gotshall, and even the Wal-Mart retail store. "Our vendor told us that the fish will only live one month," a customer service manager at a Wal-Mart outlet said. As for the others, Smith may have been responsible, since he was responsible for preparing the water in the tank. When asked about his procedure for dechlorinating the water, Smith said, "I put a lot of the stuff in. Maybe too much."

Yet another alternative is that Gotshall was responsible. She may have fed the fish too much or allowed too much light to reach them. However, investigators said, "The most likely idea at the moment is that the fish just had too much trouble adjusting to the new environment. They may not have been entirely healthy to begin with, and it's quite possible that the move was just too much for them."

The fifth and final death occurred Monday, February 14. Eventually overcoming the trauma of the first four deaths, Gotshall purchased a female guppy from the Lafayette Wal-Mart. She claims that the fish, which she named Grace, seemed fine for weeks, but then about a week before its death it began to act oddly. "She stopped eating much, and she spent most of her time just sitting near the surface," Gotshall said. "I was getting pretty worried, so I asked a visiting biology professor about it. She inspected the tank and said that the fish was fine."

On the morning of the 14th, Gotshall received a mysterious package in the mail. Inside was a book, titled "The Basic Book of Fish Keeping." Gotshall's boyfriend claimed that it was a gift to prevent the "senseless death" of more fish. Ironically, that afternoon when Gotshall went to feed Grace, Gotshall found her dead. She later accused her boyfriend of jinxing the fish's well-being.

One disturbing coincidence that was uncovered is that the last fish was the only one to have a name. Gotshall claimed that she was afraid to name the first four, because she might grow too attached to them, and "they might die." This may be explained away by the fact that the first set contained all tropical fish - two neon tetras, and two glassplates. The guppy was most likely more hardy and easier to care for than the fancier tropical fish.

Despite the setbacks and the investigation, Gotshall plans to try once more to successfully keep a fish. She and Dunn spent an afternoon cleaning the tank, trying to make it as sterile an environment as possible for the next inhabitant. They thoroughly washed all the pieces of the tank as well as the plastic plants and rocks, and they rinsed the gravel with boiling water to clean it as much as they could. Also, the next fish they claim will be bought at a local fish store rather than at Wal-Mart. "We want to give the next fish as much of a chance as possible," Gotshall said. "I really hate to see the poor things die, and I'd grown quite fond of Grace during the month she was alive. Hopefully our next pet will last even longer."